


in which Ragnar has a goat, a rope, and a plan.

by mercuryhatter



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, and then there's this absurdity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 03:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercuryhatter/pseuds/mercuryhatter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>" Skadi, however, was so angry that she at first refused this compromise, and sternly demanded a life for a life, until Loki, wishing to appease her wrath, and thinking that if he could only make her cold lips relax in a smile the rest would be easy, began to play all manner of pranks.  Fastening a goat to himself by an invisible cord, he went through a series of antics, which were reproduced by the goat; and the sight was so grotesque that all the gods fairly shouted with merriment, and even Skadi was forced to smile."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	in which Ragnar has a goat, a rope, and a plan.

”What  _are_  you doing, father?” 

Bjorn had his most exasperated voice out for the occasion, looking at Ragnar with an expression that was already halfway to defeated, knowing that whatever idiocy his father was up to know Bjorn would hardly be able to stop it. Ragnar was carrying a goat under one arm and a coil of rope in the other, and his face was lit up with mischief.

“You know the story of how Skadi found her husband, right?”

“Ye-es,” Bjorn said slowly, frowning. 

“And do you remember her other condition?”

“She wanted someone to make her laugh,” Bjorn said, nodding. “So?”

“Your mother’s been angry with me lately—”

“Well, no wonder, you didn’t bring her on the last raid—”

“Hush, you, when you have a wife you can decide which raids to take her on—”

“I am just saying that you should have expected—”

“Anyway! My point is, I’m going to make her laugh.”

Bjorn paused. He knew the rest of the story his father was referring to— Skadi, angry with the Aesir for the death of her father Thiazji, had come to Asgard to demand either just retribution or vengeance. They’d given her the husband she’d wanted easily enough, but her other stipulation was that she be made to laugh, something none of the gods could think of a solution for. Until Loki…

“Oh, father,  _no_!”

“ _Yes_ ,” Ragnar said, cackling. “What, you don’t think it will work?”

“I think she’ll laugh, yes, but only if she doesn’t want any more children from you!” Ragnar waved a dismissive hand.

“Just go on, you and Gyda are quite enough for us anyway!” Bjorn protested loudly, attempting to talk sense into his father, but Ragnar would not be persuaded, walking along with the arrogant assurance of a man with a  _massively foolish_  plan. 

—-

Having finally given up on his father, Bjorn sat on the stump in the backyard, watching the house with a mixture of trepidation and the slightest bit of vindictive anticipation. Gyda hopped up next to him, drawing her legs to her chest.

“What’re you doing?”

“Father’s doing something ridiculous.”

“What now?”

“Remember that story that mother wouldn’t tell you so I told you later while she was out? With Loki and Skadi?” Gyda nodded, eyes wide. “Well, mother is Skadi. And father has a goat.”

At that moment, a high-pitched shriek came from the house, followed by a string of loud curses and the indignant bleats of a goat. There were several crashes and suddenly a goat with a severed rope around its neck was running as fast as its stumpy legs could take it from the house, still bleating loudly. Bjorn and Gyda exchanged glances, half-horrified, but inches from laughter. 

There was another crash from the house, then silence. Then a new noise rang out, and the siblings allowed themselves to collapse into each other, muffling snickers in their hands.

Lagertha was laughing, loud and long and gasping, and there was no way Ragnar wasn’t forgiven after such a display.

“They are having sex now,” Bjorn said in a self-important whisper to Gyda (he was still making much of the fact that he was an adult who could drink mead and attend meetings and talk about sex). “Want to go play at the river?” 

The laughter had still not died down by the time they passed out of earshot, and Bjorn smiled. 


End file.
